RETURN AND RECONCILE

• DAY 80
• Fear File: Jacob
• Scripture: Genesis 32:7-11

O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac… Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, lest he come and attack me and the mother with the children. For You said, ‘I will surely treat you well

This Is Uncomfortable

I love God and that will never change but I wish there was a way to talk about the discomfort that obeying Him exposes us to. (And I’m speaking as a beneficiary of these unpleasant blessings and profitable discomfort). Like, He says “trust me” but you never knew that would mean not being able to control how your needs are met. Or He says follow me, but that would mean leaving your comfort zone. See what I mean? But that is how it is because every decision has an effect.

For Jacob, his discomfort was facing His brother. God’s instruction to go back home meant that he would have to face his brother; whom he cheated of his birthright and his inheritance. Imagine how that must have felt. He basically stole everything that belonged to his brother, ran away, and managed to escape him. Lived roughly 20 years in labor hoping to be his own man. Only for God to tell him to go back to his father’s house and to Esau whom he swindled and cheated. 

I know making amends is not easy, but sometimes God wants us to go back to our wrongs and make them right. He wants us to clean up our mess. Now God didn’t just ask him to make amends for the fun of it, the truth is he had to. Jacob was next-in-line to the promise of Abraham, but he couldn’t inherit the blessings with his slate being dirty as it was. He had to be born again from Jacob to Israel. and to do that, he had to repent and reconcile with Esau. Besides that, Canaan, which was his father’s house, was where the children of Israel were going to inherit. Now how would they inherit the land if they were not on it? or if they were still branded inheritance thieves.

Closure

You see, before you move on from a thing, it is important that that thing is finished. In Jacobs’ case, his chapter with Esau was still unfinished. They still had bad blood and God needed them to reconcile. Hear me, GOD NEEDED them to reconcile, it was not Jacob’s idea. This is so you don’t go back to build bridges God asked you to demolish.

So he had to go back home, but on his journey, he became afraid. He had heard that Esau was coming to greet him with FOUR HUNDRED MEN and he became afraid because he didn’t know what Esau would do to him. I mean who goes to greet someone with four hundred men? So Jacob was afraid and he went to God and prayed 

Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the Lord who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you’: I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies. 
Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, lest he come and attack me and the mother with the children. For You said, ‘I will surely treat you well, and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’ ” (Genesis 32:9-12)

Talk To God

This is the case for some of us, the people we’ve hurt in the past might still be upset with us and so we don’t think that we can face them. For some of us, it’s shame that is making us afraid; or the fact that they could literally kill us. But can I tell you that you can always meet God when you are afraid? I know I’ve said this over and over again and I am going to keep saying it because prayer is one of the surefire remedies to overcome your anxiety and your fear.

So Jacob took that fear and went to talk to God about it. He told God exactly the way he was feeling, he said “God help, I’m afraid” He was sincere with God. Are you honest with God about how you’re feeling? About the fears that you’re facing? Or are you hiding it, thinking that He doesn’t care or understand? Or are you choosing not to talk to Him because you are afraid? 

Guess what? Because Jacob spoke to God about his fear, God settled the issue with Esau. So while Jacob was expecting Esau to attack, God was calming the rage inside Esau, and Esau, hugged and forgave him. 

Listen, If God is telling you to go back and apologize and you are afraid, you can take that up to God. Tell Him, this is what I’m thinking, this is how I’m feeling. Will it be awkward? Yes, it will be awkward for you to go back to your kids after you walked out on them for years. Expect it to be weird when you go and apologize to your wife that you abused and broke her heart. It will be awkward for you to go back to your husband whom you weren’t much of a wife to. It will be awkward for you to go back to the people that you hurt.

But with God, you won’t have to go alone and they won’t harm you, they will welcome you. And even if it doesn’t go that way at first, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go back and fix it. Do not be afraid to go back and fix it, do not be afraid to reconcile. 

So pray, 

God give me the grace and the strength to go back to reconcile with the people that have hurt me and the ones I have hurt. Forgive, protect, and defend me. Grant me grace and favor to face my fears. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

Shalom.