“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins.’”
1 Peter 4:8 (NKJV)
Some translations say “wrongs” instead of sins. Either way, love does not make your flaws the loudest thing about you.
A wonderful pair
Let me tell you about someone I know. I’ll call her Perpetual. When Perpetual was about to get married, she brought her fiancé to meet her mother. Now, Perpetual had a quick temper. She was outspoken, strong-willed, and if you offended her, she would say it immediately. Among her siblings, she was the “stubborn” one.
Her mother called the young man aside and spoke honestly. “This girl you want to marry, are you sure? She has a bad temper. I don’t want you to take her and later bring her back, saying this is not what you expected. So I’m asking you now, are you sure it is Perpetual you want?”
The young man said he understood. He knew her temperament, and he was still sure. What others described as a problem, he saw differently. He was calm and avoided confrontation, and people often took advantage of him. So when he met a woman who could speak up, who would not keep quiet when something was wrong, and who had drive and ambition, he did not see it as too much. He saw it as something that complemented him.
The very thing others complained about was one of the reasons he chose her.
Living with critics
Some people find themselves in relationships where every conversation circles back to what is wrong with them. You are too emotional. Too quiet. Too ambitious. Not ambitious enough. Nothing about them is simply accepted or celebrated. It is always correction, adjustment, criticism. And this is not how God treats us.
When you pray, does God sit there rehearsing your failures? No He doesn’t. Look at the prodigal son in Luke 15. The father knew what he did was wrong, yet he received him. He welcomed him home.
And Psalm 103:9–12 (NKJV) tells us:
“He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
If this is how God loves you, this is not too much to expect in marriage. If someone’s love constantly reminds you of your inadequacies, pause and think about it very well. Love covering wrongs does not mean excusing sin. It means your flaws are not the headline of your identity.
Before you settle with anyone, be sure their love is strong enough to cover your wrongs.
Shalom.
