Building Community

‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.’

Proverbs 12:26

Friends are important to faith, character, and destiny. It is not something to make lackadaisically. It requires intentionality and caution because evil communication corrupts good manners (Eg. Amnon and Jonadab). For this to be a success you have to identify what kind of person you want to be and surround yourself with those kinds of people.

It’s okay if you haven’t figured yourself out yet and if I am honest you will pick some frogs and foes but thank God for the help of the Holy Spirit and the ability to correct your mistake. That said, here are tips that can help you start your journey.

Be friendly

This is friendship 101. Do you want friends? Be friendly. This is like bad news for the introvert because it could mean that you have to show you are available and not carry your face uptight, ignoring people. A little smile and nod could be all the green light needed for the other party to do the work. When somebody extends an arm of friendship don’t turn it away unless it is not the kind of friendship you want. 

Have a friendly countenance or demeanour that makes you approachable, especially in church. Greet people, talk to people. As you come out after service and walk straight to the door to leave the place, smile (even if it is just a little side crack smile).

Love or Nothing

Another way that we can build a relationship is to respond from the place of love. Have these in mind if you really want to make friends.

Only 1% come to you friend ready. Chances are they will not come exactly perfect, never provoke you, and be exactly who you want them to be. There will be plus and there will be minus because they are human. So show them grace in the area of their weakness and practice forgiveness.

Reciprocation and Boundaries

Secondly, you have to be for the person what the person wants you to be as much as you want them to be for you what you want them to be for you. It goes both ways. Some of us want people to be there for us but we are not willing to make the sacrifice to be there for them.

Another thing is respecting people’s boundaries. People do not appreciate when you do not respect their boundaries. If they say I don’t like this, don’t do that. Don’t disrespect their boundaries because it will affect your ability to make friends. 

Lastly for this post; give time. Most of the time, valuable relationships that last a lifetime will take time. Give yourself and the person time to build a strong bond and history. 

Prayer

Ask the Lord to help you choose wisely. To separate you from unfriendly friends and foes disguised as friends. Ask Him to make you a worthy friend for someone and give you grace to love them like He does. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Shalom.