AFRAID TO EMOTE
- DAY 249
- FAITH FILE: JOB
- SCRIPTURES: JOB 1&3
Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD.” In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.
Job 1:20-22
I find that one of the most difficult things for believers to do is emote in front of other believers. Mostly because they are afraid of disapproval, rejection, shaming, and being considered a babe in the faith. I’ve been there and I have witnessed a few myself. I remember my aunt being scolded for her lamentations the day she found out her only son was dead. Apparently, as a pastor that was unacceptable. I received calls telling me how to feel and respond when my sister passed and that made me so angry that I ran away from almost everybody. As someone who had been in church and ministry for almost 10 years at the time, it was wrong for me to grieve that long or that way. I felt guilty talking about my sister because I always God the “move on already.” It’s almost as if grieving is wrong and nothing is farther from the truth.
This disapproval didn’t start today. When Job had this devastating thing happen to him, he was in pain. So he shaved his head, tore his clothes, and put on sackcloth. He spent the entire chapter 3 lamenting and cursing the things he could curse. Job was a mess, understandably so. But his friends didn’t think he was mourning right. They did good when they first showed up and kept silent for seven days but when they opened their mouth they really made matters worse.
Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said: “If one attempts a word with you, will you become weary? But who can withhold himself from speaking? Surely you have instructed many, And you have strengthened weak hands. Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, And you have strengthened the feeble knees; But now it comes upon you, and you are weary; It touches you, and you are troubled. Is not your reverence your confidence? And the integrity of your ways your hope? Job 4:1-6
Do you know what happens when we feel like we cannot express ourselves? we take our pain outside of God because we are afraid of being judged. Beloved, God understands our pain and lets us grieve. When Jesus showed up at Lazarus’ tomb, where people had been mourning for 4 days, he didn’t scold Mary or Martha for grieving, He grieved with them and that is how we know that Jesus wept. knows that you will go through pain. Not to mention that Lamentations was added to the bible on purpose.
It’s Okay With God
Then how did we get to the point where feeling sad was wrong? As a believer, you’re going to go through tough times. It’s okay to cry. The only time it gets dangerous is when you start to cry outside of God. When you start to process your pain outside of God you set yourself up for the spirit of heaviness and that demon is no friend of yours. Mourning is something God understands, He had to deal with watching His son go through all of that suffering and humiliation to save you. Jesus weeps, bleeds, and feels your pain. He knows that mourning is part of your journey on earth so He gave us The Comforter. The Holy Spirit is the big hint that God gets us. So don’t allow anybody make you feel like you cannot feel your pain, go through the emotions and grieve. But hurt in the presence of God.
I’ve tried to do my pain outside of God and it took me to depression. Every time you take your pain to the presence of God, it takes you to joy. Processing your pain outside God is drowning yourself in alcohol, spending nights in bars, in red rooms, and indulging in fantasies to drown how you feel. if you do that, what happens is you begin to pull away from God and you enter into depression. You enter into a bad mental health state. Processing your pain in God looks a lot like talking to Him and crying your heart out. Playing scriptures out loud and relying on your community to help you.
God won’t judge you if you, He will comfort you. Do not be afraid.
Shalom
